To Solve a Problem Do This

I don’t worry when I get up in the morning and everything looks blurry because I easily grab my reading glasses and suddenly the world is available to me in a crisp new way. In the same manner, when you feel frustrated, confused or discouraged, you can grab your God glasses and quickly transform what appears bad into something uniquely beautiful specifically wrapped as a custom gift created just for you.

God glasses are available in locations which supply God glasses. You can’t go to the hardware store bread, and you can’t find God glasses just anywhere. You must have the intention to get yourself a pair of God glasses, and then take action to purchase to wear.

I am going to tell you a secret.

God glasses are globally abundant in the most surprising places, and often overlooked by counterfeit products with less than satisfactory results. You have to check the label to make sure your pair is the high quality original name brand. I would suggest you find someone who has the genuine article, who experiences consistent results as promised, and purchase a pair from their same source.

My point is this; if you want to be free of frustration and those demons of doubt, you must be aware not every book, person or theory which claims success truly delivers it. Many self-help gurus claim they have the answer, and at the same time live a contradictory lie. Many shiny websites and fancy marketing campaigns hook you with a glittery veneer and empty contents.

What happens when you buy the lie? You don’t get the promised results. What happens then? You feel like YOU did something wrong because their system didn’t work for you and you subsequently feel even more frustrated, disappointed and discouraged than you did before. Consider the notion there is nothing wrong with you, and there is something wrong with them! You discovered a fraud, and that is not your fault.

I am challenging you to a new way of thinking.

 

Ask more questions, investigate third parties, be cautiously optimistic and believe you are far too precious to spend any amount of time in your life with people, places or things that do not meet standards of authenticity. Bad seeds will never grow a good harvest.

So next time you search for answers to solve a problem in your life, take a moment to pause, grab your God glasses, and know you’re worth the effort.

 

 

 

 

Deb Scott, BA, CPC  is a four-time award winning author of “The Sky is Green and The Grass is Blue,”  and a top rated radio host of “The Best People We Know Show” which was a third place finalist in the 2012 Shorty Awards for best podcaster.  Deb spent twenty years as a cardiovascular surgical specialist, winning numerous awards for outstanding sales and leadership skills.  In her personal life, Deb battled sexual abuse, others’ alcoholism, dysfunctional relationships, was the sole caregiver to both her parents who fought cancer to their death, and even experienced financial devastation.  Today, Deb helps people turn things around in their business, or the business of living, with the discovery of the amazing you.

Why the Law of Attraction in not Working for You

I am the first one to agree your thoughts create your feelings, which then creates your actions, which subsequently builds the reality of your life. To that end, your thoughts can and do create your world.

But what happens when the law of attraction doesn’t seem to be working for you? What happens when you feel like you are doing all the right things, but you end up with all the wrong results. What then?

It deeply saddens me to see anyone beat themselves up for supposedly doing the ‘law of attraction’ wrong. Precisely when the person feels most down about a circumstance in life, the bulldozer of despair dumps a double dose of self-incriminating negativity.

“Why isn’t the law of attraction working for ME?”

Consider you are not doing anything wrong at all. Consider the equation is wrong. 2+ 3 will never equal 4, no matter how much you visualize and wish it to be true.

Could it be where the law of attraction ends where a little common sense needs to begin?

Would you think for one moment Rosa Parks needed to contemplate what the universe was trying to teach her to accept as she walked to the back of the bus because she was black, day in and day out, every day of her life? Would you for one second think that a Jewish victim at Auschwitz needed to contemplate what he/she was doing to attract being rolled into the incinerator to be burned alive? Do really believe the victims who had their limbs blown off in the Boston Marathon Bombing subconsciously put out a frequency with THAT on their Law of Attraction menu? Of course not!

The missing ingredient is thisgood and evil exists, and each person has free will to bring one or the other into the physical world we each live within. Good produces more good, and bad produces more bad. We are each planting seeds first in the garden of our own life, which then scatters more of the same into the lives of others around us.

Each thing in and of itself may not be good, but together they can produce good.

I recently discussed this notion with Cheryl Maloney on Empower Radio (click here to listen). Consider the thought of eating tablespoons of salt, a cup of sugar or raw eggs individually. Pucker up! It does not sound very good to me! Why? Because on their own it’s not. But, stir them all together with some flour, put the mixture in the oven, and viola’, you have angel food cake. Angel food cake is very good.

My point is this, certain things on their own are not always good, and never will be good. No amount of visualization is going to change that. What you can change is to see beyond the individual bad event, and extrapolate the present bad into the potential good result once it is wrapped with a new element of thought, action, belief, event, person, place or thing.

Life is not the all about “me” show, it’s the all about “we” show.

Consider your unfair boss is not the universe or God telling you to reflect and work through a possible childhood issue with an authority figure. Consider your boss needs to learn a lesson to be a fair boss, and you need to step out in courage to bring this to light, and in doing so you will have saved hundreds of other workers unjust treatment.

When the “I” becomes a “we” focus, even illness is transformed into wellness.

So next time you want to beat yourself up for not doing the law of attraction correctly to grab hold of the perfect life you have visualized in your on demand dream board, consider this: You didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, you may be doing something very right.

 

 

 

Deb Scott, BA, CPC   is a four-time award winning author of The Sky is Green and The Grass is Blue,” and a top rated radio host of The Best People We Know Show” which was a third place finalist in the 2012 Shorty Awards for best podcaster. Deb spent twenty years as a cardiovascular surgical specialist, winning numerous awards for outstanding sales and leadership skills. In her personal life, Deb has battled sexual abuse, others’ alcoholism, dysfunctional relationships, was the sole caregiver to both her parents who fought cancer to their death, and even experienced financial devastation. Today, Deb helps people turn things around in their business, or the business of living, with the discovery of the amazing you.

 

Dying to Live My Beautiful Life

I sometimes feel we rush through life grasping to capture future happiness in exchange for the good life we already own. We chase what might or might not be for what already is. Could it be we are dying to live that beautiful life?

I recently had a hospice medical doctor on the radio show who challenges each of us to consider the possibility many of our most “noble” desires to attain success are surreptitiously leading us right over the cliff to death.

Karen Wyatt, MD researched this notion by collecting a review of her many patients on deaths door, asking them what lessons mattered to them the most. In retrospect, what did they wish they had done or not done to live an everyday existence overflowing with peace, joy and personal fulfillment? These real life experiences were threaded together by these seven rules and how to accomplish each on a daily basis:

1. Suffering – embrace your difficulties.
2. Love – let your heart be broken.
3. Forgiveness – hold no resentments.
4. Paradise – dwell in the present moment.
5. Purpose – manifest your highest potential.
6. Surrender – let go of expectations.
7. Impermanence – face your fear.

So are you dying to live your beautiful life? Are you buying the lies of counterfeit happiness in exchange for the genuine gifts you have yet to unwrap? Is the value of your precious life worth considering a change in values and/or priorities?

Listen to the entire interview now Click Here.

 

Deb Scott, BA, CPC

Deb is Author of the National Four time Award Winner in: Self-Help | Motivation | Best New Non-Fiction | Self-Improvement; The Sky is Green and The Grass is Blue - , and a featured host of the popular Best People We Know Show! on Blog Talk Radio, with over 750K global listeners, over 300 shows, and top rated in 18 categories.

Deb is a 3rd place finalist in the prestigious Shorty Awards for best podcaster.

Taking complex issues and making them easy to understand. Simple Steps to Stop Suffering Now! Now available on Kindle.

Sign up for Debs “Mind Vitamins” Newsletter today!

Best of the Best – Top 30 List

Taking time to reflect on my blessings is one way I can always humble myself to be grateful.

I have found through my share of painful trials and tribulations in the human skin suit experience, gratitude is the most powerful antibiotic against jealousy, depression or any other of a large variety of spiritual sucking unhappiness vampire vices which steal the joy and peace out of a loving human life.

The Best People We Know Radio Show on Blog Talk Radio,
which began with a handful of listeners in September 2010
as a personal dream and vision to “Make a Positive Difference” in the world,  has now surpassed Half-A-Million 500K global listeners,
ranking in the top 1-2% in 18 categories including:
Self-Help | Life | Writing | Books | Family | Moms | Women |
Spirituality | Fitness | Health | Travel | Goals |Entertainment |
Current Events | Social Media | Psychology | Marketing | Business

Nothing short of amazing, this success belongs to each of you who listen and support and share the show week in and week out, month after month, with your family and friends, on twitter, facebook, linkedin and so many more.  Your presence is a testimony that being authentic, digging deep into the business of living, and searching for creative means to be the best person each of us is created to be, is alive and kicking, connecting the hearts and souls of so many worldwide.

While each show is always a gift and a hit in my personal view, these Top 30 shows have been the most popular for 2012 with each of you.  Tips, tools, inspiration and motivation to help you be your very best.

Top 30 Best People We Know Radio Show

The 30 Most Popular Shows for 2012:

Immaculee’ Ilbegezia
Surviving the Rwanda Genocide – Left to Tell – A True Story of Hope & Forgiveness

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/12/05/immacule-ilibagiza-the-rwanda-genocide–left-to-tell

 

 

Paulette Ensign
How to Turn Your Tips into Profitable Products

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/12/13/paulette-ensign-turn-your-tips-into-profitable-products

Dr. Joseph Burgo
Why Do I Do That? Going into your Subconscience Mind

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/12/10/dr-joesph-burgo-why-do-i-do-that

 

 

 

Deborah Norville
Beyond the Screen – Up Close & Personal

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/11/02/deborah-norville

 

 

 

Kit Johnson
Dodging Suicide – Dealing with Being BiPolar

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/11/27/kit-johnson-dodging-suicide–being-bipolar

Lorna Byrne
A Message of Hope from the Angels

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/11/07/lorna-byrne-a-message-of-hope-from-the-angels

 

 

 

Susan Miner
Self – Love, Beauty & the Confident Woman

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/11/01/susan-miner-self-love-beauty-the-confident-woman

 

 

 

Anastasia Montejano
Finding & Creating Your Dream Job

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/10/25/anastasia-montejano–create-your-dream-job

Lin Klaassen
Face Reading – What They are Saying Without Words

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/10/30/lin-klaassen-face-reading-what-they-say-without-words

Sharon McRill
How to Start a Business from Scratch

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/10/23/sharon-mcrill-how-to-start-a-business-from-scratch

 

 

 

Dr. Lisa Cassileth & Lisa Jay Davis
New Breast Cancer Genetic Testing & Treatment

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/10/18/dr-lisa-cassileth-lisa-jey-davis-new-breast-cancer-news

 

 

 

Dr. Jennifer Taitz
How to End Emotional Eating

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/10/12/dr-jennifer-taitz-end-emotional-eating

 

 

 

Lori Campbel
Age Potential – Be Your Best as You Age

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/10/15/lori-campbel-loving-your-life-at-every-age–agepotential

Elise Ballard
Epiphany – True Stories of Sudden Change

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/10/11/elise-ballard-epiphany–true-stories-of-sudden-change

 

 

 

George Lewis
Spiritual but not Religious TV

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/09/26/george-lewis-spiritual-but-not-religious-tv–sbn

Teresa de Grosbois
How to Be a Best Selling Author

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/09/20/teresa-de-grosbois-how-to-be-a-best-selling-author

Ken Kragen
Producer/Director – We Are the World – The 12 Dogs of Christmas Family Movie

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/10/10/ken-kragen-the-12-dogs-of-christmas–new-family-movie

Amy Ohm
The Treatment Diaries – Health Answers & Support

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/09/18/amy-ohm-health-answers-support-the-treatment-diaries

 

 

 

Pearce Quensberry
Stand Up 2 Cancer – 15 Year Old Survivor

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/09/05/pearce-quensberry-15-year-old-cancer-survivor-shares

Michelle Rosenthal
How to Overcome PTSD Post Traumatic Stress

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/08/02/michelle-rosenthalhow-to-overcome-trauma

Wayne Scot Lukas
Celebrity Stylist – The Secret Ingrediant for Beauty Inside & Out

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/08/05/wayne-scot-lukas-celebrity-stylist–the-secret-ingrediant

Marni Spencer Devlin
Why Anything is Possible to Overcome – True Story

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/07/19/marni-spencer-devlin-why-anything-is-possbile–true-story

 

 

 

Wendy Joy
Awakening into Your Life

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/07/12/wendy-joy-awakening

Tony Denison
Actor – The Closer & Major Crimes

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/06/18/tony-denison-blue-collar-values-in-a-gold-collar-career

 

 

 

Dr. Carrie Louise Daennell
Healing the Aging Metabolism

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/06/12/dr-carrie-louise-daenell-healing-the-aging-metabolism

Karen Cote
Marketing for Romance Writers

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/05/08/karen-cote-romance–its-complicated

Eleesha
The Soul Whisperer

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/01/05/eleesha-the-soul-whisperer-finding-your-purpose-power

Jeremy McDonald
Spiritual Strength to Clear the Fear

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/04/19/jeremy-mcdonald-how-to-overcome-fear

 

 

 

Robin Sullivan
Get Your Book Published

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/02/14/robin-sullivan-get-your-book-published

 

 

 

Call in Coaching
With CPC Elizabeth & Deb

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebestpeopleweknow/2012/04/30/call-in-coaching-with-cpcs-deb-elizabeth

 

 

 

For a complete list of all 250+ shows visit The Best People We Know Show on iTunes.

Do you have a topic or idea you want us to cover in a show?  We would love to hear from you – please take a moment to comment below And stay tuned for exciting new plans to expand and serve more value, new content and fresh ideas in the coming year.

Thank you for being part of The Best People We Know family, and don’t forget to share your one-of-a-kind shine in each and every way which inspires your heart to come alive. Go, be love, the world needs you.

Special thanks to the creator and pioneer of Blog Talk Radio, Alan Levy, and his committed staff of enthusiastic professionals, Amy, Shannon and John, for making this show possible.

 

Deb Scott, BA, CPC, is a Certified Professional Coach, Top Rated Radio Host of The Best People We Know Radio Show with over half a million listeners, and a four time Award Winning Author for the best in Self-Help, Self-Improvement, Motivation & New Non-Fiction for: The Sky is Green & The Grass is Blue.
Deb specializes in helping people turn things around, whether it’s in business, or in the business of living.
Her unique combination of twenty years as a consistent sales professional & leadership award winner as a Cardiac Surgery Sales Specialist, combined with her personal experience of facing & healing from sexual abuse, dysfunctional relationships, others’ alcoholism, being a sole care giver to the death for both her parents, and even financial tragedy, offers individuals a unique opportunity to learn new ways of thinking, doing and being in the face of life’s most painful obstacles.
Discover how to bring good out of the bad, keep hope alive, and know your best life is yet to come.

 

 

Stop Negative Thinking: You vs Your Thoughts

I feel better just reading the blog post headline! Don’t you?

What Are You Thinking?

How to get rid of feeling negative, stressed out, or emotionally charged is a desirable result for most of us, but not necessarily easily achieved by any of us.

Here is a simple “Ah Ha” moment to help shift your perception of how easily it really can be to accomplish.

You are NOT your thoughts.

Why is accepting this knowledge a critical first step towards freedom and success?

Once you know your thoughts, which create the feeling, are separate from the truth of who you are, you are able to make a choice whether that thought will be permitted to create a feeling inside you – negative or positive. Why?

Consider the following image and analogy:

When you are at home, people often come and knock on your door. You pause, look at who it is, and decide if you are going to let them into your home. Your home is your safe and sacred sanctuary and you don’t just let anyone in.  You may speak to them at the door if they are a stranger, or immediately invite them in if you recognize them as loving family or friends.

Now, replace you as the house itself, thoughts are the strangers or friends knocking at your door, and your decision to open or close the door is the power of choice you possess as a result of pausing to assess the quality of thoughts knocking at your door. The thoughts knocking outside your front door are not part of you in the house, but separate entities outside your home. Thoughts knocking for your permission to come inside and be part of your home require your approval and permission to enter.

How does that scenario feel to you?

Your thoughts are what create your feelings – negative or positive. Without the thought first, the feeling can not exist. This knowledge gives you power to understand by pausing and analyzing what the thought is, or what is knocking at your door, before accepting it. This is the real key to controlling how you feel.

Have you ever found yourself saying, “Why am I thinking about that?” The fact you separate yourself “why am I” from the thought “thinking that” clearly demonstrates the distinction between you and your thoughts.

You must think about what you are going to think about! It’s your choice, and easier to do, even really fun, once you are aware you can do it.

 

Deb Scott, BA, CPC

Deb is Author of the National Four time Award Winner Book in: Self-Help | Motivation | Best New Non-Fiction | Self-Improvement; The Sky is Green and The Grass is Blue - , a Certified Professional Coach at Discover the Amazing YOU! Coaching, and host of the Top Rated Best People We Know Show! on Blog Talk Radio. Self HelpRadio

Taking complex issues and making them easy to understand. Simple Steps to Stop Suffering Now! Now available on Kindle.

Sign up for Debs “Mind Vitamins” Newsletter today!

10 Tips to Making Good Decisions

By Certified Coaches
Deb Scott and Elizabeth Hamilton Gaurino

 

“Should I, or shouldn’t I?”

The question is not if you must make decisions, but how to make  good decisions.

As part of our Call in Coaching series, we cover this topic with listeners.

Here are our Top 10 Tips to Make Good Decisions.

 

 Making Good Decisions

 

1  Write down the Objective.

What is it you ultimately want to accomplish.  Get a new job, move or start a business is not specific enough.  The objective should be clearly stated in a way which describes the benefits of achieving the goal.  “I want to move to a warm climate where I can engage in outdoor activities year round and simply my life with a lower cost of living.”  VS “I want to move.”

2.  Collect Facts:  Good AND Bad

Do your Homework and gather all the information, good and bad, like and dislike.  You are not making the decision here, just a sound assessment of all your options for consideration.  There is no rush to get through this critical step.  Researcher Paul Nutt states, “Only 1 in 10 decisions is urgent. Only 1 in 100 is a crisis. You have time to reflect.”   The more time you take to gather all the information, the better your decision is likely to be.

3. List Possible Consequences of Decision

Brain storm all the possible outcomes of each decision and choice.  Detach from the emotion – focus on all the possibilities.  What would happen if? How would I feel if?   Listing extreme positives and negatives at this stage is a good idea.

4. Do a Gut Check

Now that you have completed the above steps, sit in a quiet spot where you will not be disturbed and visualize each scenario you have listed.  How does you gut feel?  Is your stomach in knots?  Is your heart beating with excitement?  Pay attentions to what your body is telling you and write it down.

5. Don’t Over Think

Avoid placing judgement on what you have written down.  Be open to the fact you might not know, what you don’t know.

6.  Make the Decision

Review the good work you have completed and tabulate what choice brings you the most favorable results, along with the most positive physical gut reaction.  These facts will lead you to the best choice.  remember, the best choice is not the perfect choice.  There is no perfect choice.

7. Stick with Your Decision

Once you have made your decision, trust the process.  Follow-through to the end, because you don’t want to give up 5 minutes before the miracle.

8.  Give Yourself Permission to Navigate the Unexpected

Be sensible in the sense you must give yourself permission to navigate differently in the event of an unexpected crisis.  Obviously ‘life is happening while you make other plans’, so know that even the best thought out plan will be altered in the face of earth quakes and funerals.

9.  Review and Assess

Take time to review and asses your progress often.  This will encourage you to continue when you are able to validate positive results, and tweak your direction as needed to maintain forward momentum.

10. No Regrets

Regardless of what you expected your decision to create, congratulate yourself that you made the best decision possible with the information you had available to you at the time.  There is not a person alive, and especially some of the greatest successes in history, who hasn’t had the opportunity to learn from a decision.

Following these 10 tips allows you to follow a logical process of consequences based on completion of each task.  The answers unfold naturally for you, rather than you struggling to make something fit where it does not belong.

 

 The Rational Planning Model

 

“The rational planning model is the process of realizing a problem, establishing and evaluating planning criteria, creating alternatives, implementing alternatives, and monitoring progress of the alternatives. It is used in designing neighborhoods, cities, and regions. The rational planning model is central in the development of modern urban planning and transportation planning.”

Remember, good decision-making is a skill, and like any skill it can be learned.  The more you practice this process of good decision-making, the more skilled you will become at making good decisions every day!

 

Clear the Fear

Are you one of the 5 million estimated Americans who experiences the emotional and often devastating effects of fear related stress?

“According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 19 million people in the United States alone suffer from mental illnesses that involve irrational fear responses. These disorders include generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.”

Clear the Fear

Do you ever feel paralyzed by fear?
Fear to change yourself, your career, your relationships?
Fear to try something new?
Fear of failure, loss or even what people might think of you?

Yes, everyone experiences fear to some degree, but not everyone uses fear as a stepping stone instead of a stumbling block.

 

Making Fear a Friend.

At the end of this article our goal is to provide you with tangible tools to:

1. Accurately define what Fear is and what Fear is not.

2. Understand Clinical Data about Fear and Successful Studies how to Overcome Fear.

3. Exercises to help you Clear the Fear from a negative obstacle into a positive opportunity.

 

Are you Born with Fear?

By definition, everyone experiences fear. “It is a distressing negative sensation induced by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger.” Fear is a necessary survival mechanism in all human beings.

Anxiety- is future-oriented fear because we cannot control what will happen next.

Panic- is becoming intimidated by something that reminds a person of their fear, creating an alarm response.

Physiological changes in the body associated with fear, the “fight or flight” response, can include:

Rapid heart rate
Increased blood pressure
Tightening of muscles
Increased sweating

 

Good Fear VS Bad Fear

Good fear serves a good purpose. For example, if you have to give a major presentation to a group of professionals at your place of work, fear can motivate you to sharpen your skills to practice and deliver an excellent presentation.

Bad Fear is when fear becomes irrational and excessive, it can become crippling and instigate a cascade of destructive feelings, thoughts and behaviors.

 

Name a personal experience of Good Fear and Bad Fear below:

Good Fear____________________________________________________

Bad Fear_____________________________________________________

 

Creating Fear

“In the 1920s, American psychologist John Watson taught an infant to fear white rats. “Little Albert” had no fear of the laboratory’s test animals. He showed joy at the sight of the white rats especially and always reached out for them. Watson and his assistant taught Albert to be terrified of white rats. They used Pavlovian (classical) conditioning, pairing a neutral stimulus (the rat) with a negative effect. Whenever Albert reached for one of the rats, they created a terrifyingly loud noise right behind the 11-month-old child. Not only did Albert very quickly learn to fear the white rats, crying and moving away whenever he saw one, but he also started to cry in the presence of other furry animals and a Santa Claus mask with a white beard.”

“Like Little Albert’s fear of white rats, a person’s fear of dogs is most likely a conditioned response. Perhaps he was bitten by a dog when he was three years old. Twenty years later, the person’s brain (the amygdala in particular) still associates the sight of a dog with the pain of a bite.”

 

Clearing the Fear

Fear extinction is creating a positive conditioned response that counteracts the negative fear response, usually involving exposure to an outside stimuli. However, scientists have discovered ” stimulating a protein called NMDA (N-methyl D-asparate) in the amygdala can enhance fear extinction.”

Identify a fear you want to eliminate and re-frame:

_____________________________________________________________

"I Want to Clear Away this Fear"

Kerry Ressler, associate professor in the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Emory University is studying the biology of fear. And the impact of a neurotrophic factor known as BDNF. “We’re studying how the biology of the brain is changed by the environment, and how these changes underlie memories and experiences.”

Stumbling Blocks into Stepping Stones

The Prevention magazine article “What are you afraid of?: 8 secrets that make fear disappear” offers these tips for dealing with everyday fears:

  1. It doesn’t matter why you’re scared.
    Knowing why you’ve developed a particular fear doesn’t do much to help you overcome it, and it delays your progress in areas that will actually help you become less afraid. Stop trying to figure it out.
  2. Learn about the thing you fear.
    Uncertainty is a huge component of fear: Developing an understanding of what you’re afraid of goes a long way toward erasing that fear.
  3. Train.
    If there’s something you’re afraid to try because it seems scary or difficult, start small and work in steps. Slowly building familiarity with a scary subject makes it more manageable.
  4. Find someone who is not afraid.
    If there’s something you’re afraid of, find someone who is not afraid of that thing and spend time with that person. Take her along when you try to conquer your fear — it’ll be much easier.
  5. Talk about it.
    Sharing your fear out loud can make it seem much less daunting.
  6. Play mind games with yourself.
    If you’re afraid of speaking in front of groups, it’s probably because you think the audience is going to judge you. Try imagining the audience members naked — being the only clothed person in the room puts you in the position of judgment.
  7. Stop looking at the grand scheme.
    Think only about each successive step. If you’re afraid of heights, don’t think about being on the fortieth floor of a building. Just think about getting your foot in the lobby.
  8. Seek help.
    Fear is not a simple emotion. If you’re having trouble overcoming your fear on your own, find a professional to help you. There are lots of treatments for fear out there, and no good reason not to try them under the guidance of someone with training and experience

 

Accepting fear is part of the human condition, being able to identify good fear from bad fear, understanding the science behind the cycle of fear, and what you can do to reframe your fear to work for you, instead of against you, is all possible for you with a little help from your friends.

Love and Blessings,

Deb Scott, BA, CPC  and Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino, BA, CPC

 

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Listen to Deb and Elizabeth discuss the Topic of Clearing the Fear on Call in Coaching
Or Click Below:

Listen to internet radio with Best People We Know on Blog Talk Radio

Turning Your Talents & Passions into Success

As Featured in The Motivation Marathon.
By Deb Scott and Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

Terrific Tips!

Do you want to be a success? Of course your answer is a resounding YES!

The more difficult question to contemplate might be: how do you define and measure your success?

Is it having a specific amount of money?
Being a certain weight?
Traveling around the world?
Receiving recognition and accolades at work?
Experiencing a rewarding relationship with your partner, spouse or children?
Is it an emotional feeling of peaceful well-being?

You can’t turn your talents and passions into success, if you don’t have a clear definition of what success is for you.

 

Write down your personal definition of success below.

____________________________________________________________________________

The next part of the equation is identifying your talents and passions. You may have a talent which you are not passionate about using, and a passion for something you are not talented to manifest, and you may have some talents and passions which directly overlap. For example, you may be passionate about drawing, but you might not be particularly talented at it. You might be very talented at singing, but not particularly passionate about it. You could be a talented teacher and also very passionate about teaching.

Take a moment to write three things you are talented at, and three things you are passionate about.

Talents                                                                    Passions

1.                                                                                  1.

2.                                                                                  2.

3.                                                                                  3.

A recent study by Dr. Martin Seligman suggested happiness can be broken down into three separate and measurable categories.

A) The Pleasant Life
Having as much positive emotion and as little negative emotion as possible.

B) The Engaged Life
Being completely absorbed by the challenges you face at work, love, play, etc.

C) The Meaningful Life
Knowing what your highest strengths are and using them to belong to and serve something that is bigger than you are.

Combining your talents with your passions in the context of what gives you positive emotions, and powerfully absorbs you in a meaningful way, will inevitably give you true success in being your most authentic self.

 Fit Your Talents & Passions Together for Success

 

One of the best ways to achieve something you want is to find a good mentor. Who can you think of who has already accomplished what you want? What did they do to get it? Who do they associate with? What types of activities and hobbies do they engage in? What types of people do they associate with? What books do they read? What associations do they belong to? What are their daily habits like? These are just some of the questions you can ask.

Name 2 people you admire who already have what you want.

1.

2.

The Texas Medical Association identified 8 characteristics of happy people.

8 Characteristics of Happy People…They…

· devote a great amount of time to family and friends

· are comfortable expressing gratitude

· are the first to offer a helping hand

· express optimism when imagining their futures

· savor life’s pleasures and live in the moment

· make physical activity a daily habit

· are deeply committed to lifelong goals

· show poise and strength in coping with crises

Do you notice a trend, that happiness is developed by nurturing your talents and passions, which ultimately leads to personal success?

Doing what you were designed to successfully accomplish will give you more energy, not less. You will be better at making decisions, leading others, and more resilient in adversity. Your health and immune system will be stronger, and you will enjoy a more satisfying life.

Another psychological study by Chris Peterson indicates truly successful and satisfied people tend to have the following 6 virtues in their character:

· Wisdom

· Courage

· Humility

· Justice

· Temperance

· Transcendence

Which one of these do you identify with most powerfully? Which one of these do you admire in other people? Which ones do you want to experience more frequently?

Once you have clearly defined what success is for you; understanding what talents you have and what sets your heart on fire with passion, you are able to deliberately feed your soul in each area. Ideally, you will be activating one or more of the virtues listed above to reinforce your overall success.

So how can you strategies for success?

Implementing the following three elements into your action plan will result in success:

1. Focus on learning new skills to reinforce your talents and passions.

2. Consistently cultivate what you already do well and enjoy.

3. Eliminate unnecessary stressors which are not a priority to your value system.

You can’t do it alone, and you weren’t meant to! We all learn, grow, and succeed with the help of others. Surrounding yourself with people who inspire your soul to free your talents and passions will carry you with momentum not possible on your own power.

We are here to support your success with tips and tools you can use and trust.  Keep  going and growing to be your best!

Love and Blessings,

Deb Scott and Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino

 

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“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.” – Howard Thurman

Gratefulness; A GREAT Person is FULL of GRATITUDE

Great People are Grateful People.
As Featured in WE Magazine for Women!

I firmly believe the greatest people I have ever met in my life, are always the most grateful.

Does this describe you?

The grateful person undoubtedly possess one or all of the following qualities I deeply admire: peace, humility and happiness.

A Grateful Person is a Happy and Healthy Person

Research by Dr. Robert Emmons at UC Davis showed adults, youth, children, and even those with medical disabilities benefited in a variety of of ways both mentally and physically from practicing gratitude activities.

Summary of Findings

  • In an experimental comparison, those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).
  • A related benefit was observed in the realm of personal goal attainment: Participants who kept gratitude lists were more likely to have made progress toward important personal goals (academic, interpersonal and health-based) over a two-month period compared to subjects in the other experimental conditions.
  • A daily gratitude intervention (self-guided exercises) with young adults resulted in higher reported levels of the positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy compared to a focus on hassles or a downward social comparison (ways in which participants thought they were better off than others). There was no difference in levels of unpleasant emotions reported in the three groups.
  • Participants in the daily gratitude condition were more likely to report having helped someone with a personal problem or having offered emotional support to another, relative to the hassles or social comparison condition.
  • In a sample of adults with neuromuscular disease, a 21-day gratitude intervention resulted in greater amounts of high energy positive moods, a greater sense of feeling connected to others, more optimistic ratings of one’s life, and better sleep duration and sleep quality, relative to a control group.
  • Children who practice grateful thinking have more positive attitudes toward school and their families (Froh, Sefick, & Emmons, 2008).

The good news is emotional resilience is not limited to your genetic make up – you CAN improve your attitude and overall well being by taking an active role in reflecting on the many things you can be grateful for.

My Gratitude List Begins with...

What can YOU be grateful for today?

1. Did you get up in a warm house this morning?

It is estimated by the National Alliance to End Homelessness that 2.3 and 3.5 million people experience homelessness in America.

2. Did you have running water to brush your teeth?

The World Commission on Water for the 21st Century, says three billion of the world’s population lives in squalor and misery without access to proper sanitation or clean water.

3. Can you read, write, hear, or speak?

Helen Keller could not read, write, hear or speak – yet she became one of the greatest thought leaders of our time, making the whole world a better place.

Once asked what was worse than being blind, Ms. Keller answered “Being able to see, but not having any vision.”

4. Do you have 2 arms to write and 2 legs to walk?

There are many Wounded Warriors coming home this Thanksgiving and Christmas without limbs protecting the freedom for you and me.

Nick Vujicic has something to say to you about Life without Limbs.

I’ve had the pleasure now to interview over 100 experts and celebrities on The Best People We Know Radio Show - and it never fails – the really great ones are always the most humble and grateful for every blessing they have had the privilege to experience. They are passionate about helping other people be happy.

How grateful are you? Take the Gratitude Quiz.

Count your blessings not your burdens.

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” Cicero

Deb Scott, BA, CPC

Deb is Author of the THREE time National Award Winning Book The Sky is Green and The Grass is Blue - turning your upside down world right side up!, a Certified Professional Coach at Discover the Amazing YOU! Coaching, and host of the hit new Best People We Know Show! on Blog Talk Radio. Self Help Radio

Simple Steps to Stop Suffering Now!  Now available on Kindle.

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Dumping the Drama!

Do you have a Drama “King” or “Queen” In your life? 

This person is always in crisis, and giving you a non-stop crisis in the process!

If this sounds like a person you know, in your family, or at work, then you’ll want to join Deb Scott, Certified Professional Life Coach, for a special “Dumping the Drama” call in coaching and workbook.

  • Focus your energy into achieving your goals!
  • Discover a new way of thinking AND build YOUR well being!
  • Create a plan to overcome obstacles at work and home!

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“Deb has an amazing ability to take any situation, experience or belief and re-frame it into a positive, amazing perspective. This ability allows people to see themselves differently, which opens up the opportunity for change – a pre-requisite for people who want to truly step into their power! Thank you for all that you do Deb – you totally ROCK!!!”

Trish Bishop; The Question Journey 

 
 

Deb Scott has once again created a masterpiece of self-help!
Deb is one of today’s brightest and most helpful self-help and life coaches in her field.
She has won numerous awards for her book, “The Sky is Green & The Grass is Blue” and “Dumping the Drama!” will win awards in your heart for finally helping you “dump the drama” in your life.  I highly recommend this book and have referred it to several of my friends and to everyone at The Best Ever YOU Network.

Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino: CEO/Founder, The Best Ever YOU Network.